[ANONYMOUS] Marriage counseling for new parents
I've worked with the most incredible counselor ever and I've sent countless people to her as well. In fact, she helped me and my husband through our most difficult times that we asked her to be the officiant at our wedding. She had seen us during our best and worst moments, so it seemed only fitting that she be the one to pronounce us husband and wife since there were times we didn't think we'd make it that far. She uses the Imago method which is incredible. I'm probably not explaining it right but ultimately, each person has a turn to express what's hurting, bothering, upsetting, etc them, then the other person has to repeat what that person said, to ensure that they are really listening. (She helps you through that process because listening is a lot hard than it seems and repeating back without anger, attitude or resentment is also hard, but she assists you.) Then the listener validates their partners feelings and eventually apologizes for making them feel that way. Not to worry, once you've really listened to someone and have heard "their movie" it's easier to apologize and validate their feelings than you would think. It's definitely hard to be the listener, but it's always helpful to know that you'll have your turn and your side will be heard and your feelings will be validated and you will receive a genuine apology from your partner. It's an entirely new way of learning how to communicate with one another in a productive and loving way. Rather than the old snarky banter, screaming matches or whatever other bad habits couples form while in times of trouble. Also, my husband loves her too, in fact all of the men that have gone to her love her as well, which is always very important because men tend to be more resistant to therapy. Her name is Jayne Gumpel
