“Hey ______! I'm realizing we should plan a review. I’m happy to do this in person or over email. I only have good things to say, but I’d love to sit down and talk about the months ahead, transitions and expectations.”
Come from a place of appreciation for your nanny and the job they are doing, even if there is room for improvement. Taking care of other people’s children is no easy task. You don’t have to wait for a formal review to ask your nanny to modify things, especially if they are becoming problematic (e.g., chronic lateness).
As an employer you should also review your own behavior. Are you being a good boss? Are there areas for YOU to improve? Having a good employer/employee relationship means both sides are giving (and giving feedback).
Here are some steps to guide employers:
- Schedule a Meeting: Arrange a private meeting with your nanny to discuss the review. Make sure it’s a convenient time for both of you. Best to have the review in a place OTHER than your home where there can be a power differential as well as distractions. In two employer households it’s best to have both employers present. However, this may create a 2 vs. 1 feeling which can be very uncomfortable for the nanny.
- Prepare Ahead and Review the Contract: Ask your nanny to think about areas where they both excel and areas for improvement. Print out the existing nanny contact for your nanny and ask them to look it over as a guideline for what you will talk about. There may be things that you have both forgotten in the contract that you might want to circle back on.
- Have the meeting: Focus on the positives as well as room for improvement. Allow your nanny to give YOU feedback as well. Take a few deep breaths…. You might not be the perfect employer and you need to be open to hearing ways you can be a better employer.
- Attendance and punctuality (of both employer and employee!) - No one likes to have a boss show up late any more than a nanny who shows up late to work. If your nanny is doing great—say that! It’s good to know what things you’re loving about your nanny, and if they show up on time, say so! Discuss attendance expectations if those are not being met, especially if there are routines and behaviors that have become ingrained in the relationship (e.g., both folks are 10 minutes late). It’s okay to decide that you need to change course on what you might need in the future.
- Attitude - discuss whether there are issues around mood (again, of both employer and employee) and whether there are underlying issues that are impacting a positive work environment. Does the nanny come in with a positive attitude? Does the nanny leave with one? Does the employer create a positive work environment? Are there things that either of you are doing that can be creating a less than positive environment?
- Communication - Is the existing way you communicate (texts, emails, phone calls, etc.) working for both of you? Are there ways you can communicate more efficiently (e.g., no texts after X time, or if you’re going to be late, please send more photos, let me know if you’ll be late bringing my child home from the park). For example, the nanny might appreciate an overview of what happened over the weekend (e.g., they stayed up late on Sunday night so the nanny can expect nap schedules are off. Or your nanny might need to give you more feedback on what happened during the day.
- Support - discuss whether the nanny feels supported by parents and vice versa. Does that nanny feel like the employer has their back; does the employer feel like their policies (e.g., snacks, discipline naps, exercise, homework) are being adhered to (within reason). It can be okay if the employer and nanny have slightly different ways of treating their child; kids are adaptable. Where it’s a problem is when one is undermining the other’s parenting philosophy and making it harder for either to do their job.
- Upcoming transitions - Discuss whether there are new things on the horizon and how those will be handled together (potty training, sleep changes, school transitions and pickups, after school routines). If schedules are changing, how will these impact hours worked? Job expectations? Vacations either party is going to be taken in the next 6 months, year?
- New skills training - Are there any extra trainings that the nanny could use for any upcoming childcare transitions (e.g., watching videos on the sleep training you’ll be doing, reading about the potty training philosophy the parents want to try). If the nanny needs extra training, pay the nanny for their time.
- Discuss job creep and if it’s happening - Do all of the job requirements after hiring still apply? Does there need to be any modifications to the expectations (e.g., if your baby drops a nap can you expect the nanny to have time to do the dishes as they have in the past?). Is there an expectation that a nanny can do more than a parent in the same situation could do? Babies turn into toddlers who have all sorts of different caregiving needs.
- Benefits and Money - If the review is happening on a work anniversary, is a raise in order? If there is one expected and won’t happen, why? If there is a new baby on the way, what changes in rate are expected? If one child is going to school, are there modifications in pay that the nanny needs to be aware of? If there is a weekly amount of money given to the nanny, is that still enough? Are both parties satisfied with how the money is being spent? Are there changes in vacation time or sick leave?
- Overall performance - do both employer and employee feel like they are meeting responsibilities (e.g., paying on time, reimbursements, raises, time management). Give explicit examples rather than broad strokes. Ask “what about that makes sense” rather than “does that make sense.” Discuss here room for improvement and expectations for the coming months.
- Set Goals: After these factors are discussed, work together to set sensible goals for the upcoming year. These should be “SMART” (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound). If there are areas of improvement (you might create an “improvement plan”), what is the timeline for those to be achieved? Are there consequences of the goals have not been met?
- Review the nanny contract: Follow the meeting up with a new review of the nanny contract with both parties agreeing to the new goals. Do the job responsibilities still fit with the existing job? You may not want to do this on the spot but wait until you’ve both had a chance to digest the in-person review. If you need to have a back and forth, that’s okay. This is a give and take on both parties.
Remember, a positive and constructive approach fosters growth and strengthens your working relationship! Being both compassionate with your nanny and receptive to their concerns is key. A nanny can’t know how to do their job better if you don’t let them know. The goal is to have the most positive work experience for both the employee/nanny and employer/parent.
Good luck!
