Support for the Loss of a Partner

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PSP members have shared resources and words of solidarity for those going through the death of a life partner.

 

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Professional Help

 

For virtual and in-person appointments with counselors in the Brooklyn and NYC area, check out PSP Reviews for Grief Counselors.

 

For online therapy, members recommend checking out Helloalma.com or Zencare.co.

 

Support Groups  

 

Fall Bereavement Group with Jane Dorlester, LCSW

Brooklyn Bereavement

September 9–October 14, 2020

6–7:30 pm

917-755-8025 /

 

“Survivor” Psychotherapy Group

Daniel Brooks, LCSW

“This is not a bereavement group—it is a supportive group about survival, letting go and moving on. Group members often share their experiences in what has helped them to conquer fears of being separated, alone or helpless. They share new ways of communicating, socialization opportunities, and discuss sex. It is a group that uses the past to help map a new, hopeful and often better charted, future.”

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Online and IRL Communities

 

National Widowers Organization: Through the National Widowers’ Organization’s “Widower to Widower” peer support program, volunteer widowers are available to contact another widower.

 

W Connection: We are a community of widows, with a simple yet challenging goal of widows helping widows rebuild our lives with new tools, understanding, and hope.

 

GriefShare: GriefShare seminars and support groups are led by people who understand what you are going through and want to help. You’ll gain access to valuable GriefShare resources to help you recover from your loss and look forward to rebuilding your life.

 

GriefNet: With over 50 email support groups, GriefNet.org is an Internet community of persons dealing with grief, death, trauma, and major loss.

 

Modern Widows Club: Modern Widows Club believes every widow has the potential to be empowered through grief.  Education, awareness, advocacy, mentoring and leadership are vital to creating a powerful experience. Members meet other widows who are no longer just surviving, they are thriving.

 

Widowed Village: Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing.

 

Soaring Spirits: Soaring Spirits builds community. We create, and maintain, innovative peer-based grief support programs for widowed men and women that serve a worldwide population. Based on the powerful connections created by shared experience, we endeavor to ensure that no one need grieve alone.

 

The Widowed Parent project: The Widowed Parent project is committed to supporting widowed mothers and fathers with children in the home. Their work began with a support group for fathers who had lost their spouses to cancer, and they have expanded their focus to include all widowed parents regardless of cause of death. They offer resources, research, and links to online and IRL support groups.

Books

 

The Grief Recovery Handbookby John W. James, Russell Friedman: “It’s amazing.”

 

When Bad Things Happen to Good Peopleby Harold Kushner and A Grief Observedby C.S Lewis: “It depends on the person and tolerance religion but when I lost my husband the book "when bad things happen to good people" by Rabbi Harold Kushner was helpful, as was C.S. Lewis 'A Grief Observed' which is a Christian perspective- elegant, moving and very consistent with my experience.”

 

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion: “The Year of Magical Thinking (Joan Didion) is an excellent honest depiction of grief and I found it to be extremely comforting.”

 

Tear Soup by Chuck DeKlyen and Pat Schwiebert: “My very favorite book about grief, for children and adults, is a beautiful picture book called Tear Soup. I keep multiple copies in my office to give to families who are grieving (I'm a rabbi). It is not tied to any particular religion (though it mentions God at one point), was written by people who work in hospice care, and uses the metaphor of tear soup for grief. When someone you love dies, you start making tear soup.”

 

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Reading Around the Web

 

The Second Year After a Loved One’s Death from NextAvenue

“Little is discussed of the second year, when those who grieve begin to assume a new identity reflecting new circumstances of life. The second-year experiences surprise us in that our loved one will always be absent, yet somehow present. Personally, I became uncomfortably aware of the discrepancy between the world that is now and the world that was.”

 

A Deep Dive Into Secondary Loss from What’s Your Grief

“The death of a loved one isn't just one single earth-shattering loss. In reality, it's a tremendous loss, followed by a lot of smaller losses in its aftermath.”

 

Tips For Getting Through the Holidays When You’re Totally Sad from Modern Loss

“Maybe someday the season won’t feel like someone is taking a melon baller to my heart, but for now getting through it is about knowing what to avoid and what to embrace.”

 

5 Benefits of Grief Journaling from What’s Your Grief

“Journaling is one of WYG’s favorite, go-to, grief coping methods for many reasons. First, it offers you a simple way to cope that requires only a pen and paper (or computer or tablet). Second, it doesn’t require you to ‘talk it out’ if you don’t want to. Third, and perhaps most importantly, there are many psychological and physical benefits of grief journaling.”

 

Resources for Kids Dealing with Death

 

Sourced from Camp Kesem, a community for kids dealing with a parent’s cancer.

 

The Moyer Foundation provides comfort, hope and healing to children and families affected by grief and addiction through its two signature camp programs: Camp Erin and Camp Mariposa. Their newest Initiative, The Moyer Foundation Resource Center, is a user-friendly, comprehensive online library of resources that provides the tools to navigate some of life’s most challenging experiences.

 

The Family Lives On Foundation supports the lifelong emotional well-being of children whose mother or father has died. 

 

Experience Camps are free, one-week camps in Maine, New York and California for boys and girls who have experienced the death of a parent, sibling or primary caregiver.

 

Thoughts from Members

 

“Try to rely on friends and family.  Let them do the work to take care of your kids and feed you all and find a funeral home.  Reach out to a therapist, preferably someone who specializes in bereavement.”

Resources on PSP

 

Join the PSP Widows & Widowers Group. If you’re not yet a PSP member, you can get signed up HERE.

 

Resources on Dealing with Death for kids

 

PSP members’ advice about handling the passing of a grandparent


More recommendations for Books About Grief