Doc Fox's Lessons for Better Communication

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Parent Category: Newsflashes

Category: Newsflash

Some of you might not know that Founder Susan Fox has her Ph. D. in Communication (from a gazillion years ago). She still teaches a graduate level Interpersonal Communication Course at NYU every so often and at the end of the semester I hand out a documnet called, "Doc Fox's Lessons for Better Communication."

When she mentions it to people they say they'd love to see it. So here it is; raw, un-prettied up, and for your knowledge. So come sit down and see what you might need from this and leave the rest. 

Favorite sayings:

"The only person who acts sensibly is my tailor. He takes my measure anew every time he sees me. Everyone else goes by their old measurements." George Bernard Shaw.

"You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do." Olin Miller

"Be Kind. You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through." Author Unknown

Doc Fox's Lessons for Better Communication

Perception, Emotions, and Listening 

• Remember that meaning is in the person, not the words. How you think something should be interpreted and how it is interpreted are two different things.

• People don't MAKE YOU feel anything. You are reacting to them, their words, and their behavior. Rather than "you make me feel X," use your "I" language and say, "I feel X when you…." Likewise, you don’t make other people feel anything. (Don’t mention this in the middle of a heated discussion.)

• Give people the benefit of the doubt and realize that you're likely to assume something bad happens to you because of external sources and something bad happens to others because of internal reasons.

• Don't 'half' or pseudo-listen. Folding clothes and talking is one thing; reading email and trying to talk isn't really the best use of anyone's time. If you aren't able to give a person your full attention, tell them "I can give you my undivided attention at another time (hopefully offering another time). Right now isn't a good time."

• Avoid using “should” have, “would” have, “ought” to, never and always.

• Practice listening. Get out of your head and do more than hear- embrace. It takes energy and time so listen when you can do it mindfully.

Communication Skills

• Communication is NOT a natural ability. You can always be a better communicator. 

• Ask, "What do you understand?" rather than "do you understand?" Likewise, ask "what about that makes sense?" rather than "does that make sense?"

• Paraphrase by saying "what I think I hear you saying is…."  and ask, "is there anything else?" when you are talking to someone, especially about a serious matter.

• Don't “ASSUME” (assuming makes an ASS out of U and Me) and can lead to misunderstandings.  Perception check, "you did/said X, which made me think Y, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't misreading what you did/said."

• Ask, "Is this a good time to talk?" when you start a conversation. 

• When turning down an invitation say, "but I'd love to be invited again so please ask" if, in fact, this is the case.

• If you're not willing to say it to someone's face, don't write it in an email. Especially don't write it in an email to someone ELSE.

• Take your time answering requests and making decisions (if you have time); you'll be glad to have the time to make an informed decision and give a thoughtful response. 

• Don’t use a personal conversation as a way to self-promote.

• If you are about to write/do something out of anger/frustration/fear; STOP. Write it, let it sit until you've had a good night's sleep. Send it to yourself as a nudgemail and give it some time to rest.

• Set limits if you have a deadline at the outset of a conversation or meeting. Say, "I need to be somewhere else at X so we need to wrap things up by Y."

• Apologize, expressing remorse, acknowledge of wrongdoing, accepting responsibility, and offering to repair. 

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Ready, set, swap! October 5th is the PSP Member Kids Clothing & Gear and Maternity Swap

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Parent Category: About Park Slope Parents

Category: Events

The PSP Members Only Clothing, Gear, and Maternity Swap 
When: Saturday, October 5th, 2019
Time: 10:00am - 12:30pm
     Last entry at 12:10pm
Early drop off from 9:15 to 9:45am
Where: All Saints Church 463A 7th Street, entrance on 7th Street (the Park Slope Center for Successful Aging)

Price and details:

• $5.00/member - payable at the door
• You must be a Park Slope Parents member with a valid Membership Card. Download/Print your membership card. Step by Step Instructions here: http://bit.ly/MembershipCard_DL

• Not a PSP member?
  • Join
  • Renew

What to bring:

• Please bring swappable kid clothing/books/gear for ages newborn-10 years. If you wouldn’t give it to your finicky in-law, don’t bring it to the swap.
• Maternity items (especially work clothes)
• Nursing and feeding items 
• Breast pumps, bottles, baby carriers
• Bouncy seats, belly bands, unused pacifiers
• NO toys please
• If you just want to drop stuff off, that's allowed-- anything not swapped will be donated.

DROP OFF ITEMS BEFORE THE SWAP! 

NORTH Slope: Wednesday, 9/25 through Wednesday, October 2nd
190 Garfield Place (between 6th & 7th), apt 5E (please text Jeff at 917-685-8250 to double check availability)

SOUTH Slope  Wednesday, 9/25 through Wednesday, October 2nd.
438 12th Street (between 7th and 8th) doorman there between 9am – 9pm.

WINDSOR TERRACE  - ***available Saturday Sept 28 - Monday Sept 30***
1 Prospect Park SW, apt 2A (please text MC at 407-864-2225 to double-check availability)

DROP OFF THE NIGHT BEFORE THE SWAP
Pre-Swap, Night Before Drop Off 6pm- 8pm FRIDAY, OCTOBER 4th ONLY
463A 7th Street, entrance on 7th Street (the Park Slope Center for Successful Aging)
Drop off or donate-- (you can also pay your $5 and skip the line on Saturday).

PLEASE PRE-SORT... Mark with sharpie on the bag the size of the clothes. Makes it super easy to run the items to the appropriate tables.  You'll be able to toss bags in separate bins when you come into the swap!

• Preemie clothes
• 0 - 6 months***NEW
• 6 - 12 months***NEW
• 12 - 18 months
• 18 - 24 months
• 2 & 3 year olds
• 4 & 5 year olds
• 5 - 8 year olds
• 8-10 year olds

***ALSO Please presort MATERNITY clothes as well. We're going to have a more organized section for those clothes!

• Maternity S
• Maternity M
• Maternity L

We've been helping the planet and our fellow swappers since 2005!  

Frequently Asked Questions:

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The 2019 Nanny Survey Results are In!

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Parent Category: Newsflashes

Category: Newsflash

The 2019 data is here! PSP conducted its 7th survey of employers who employ a nanny. These results are based on 870 parents from Brooklyn who employ live-out nannies who are not part of a nanny share.

IMPORTANT FINDINGS:

PAY**

$18.65 per hour for 1 child ($1.60 more than 2017)
$19.94 per hour for 2 children ($1.61 more than 2017)

Part-time nannies continue to make a higher hourly rate than a full-time nannies, paying a premium for fewer hours:
$19.78 per hour for 10-20 hours
$18.77 per hour for 40-50 hours

TIME OFF:

The average agreed upon days off is 13 days, while the reported days actually received is 21 days. (The vast majority of nannies are paid for all 21 days they receive off.)
Seven in ten (70%) let their nanny schedule time off at the nanny's discretion (something for which PSP advocates.)

RAISES & BONUSES:
The most common first year annual increase is $1 per hour.
Giving end of year bonuses continues to be standard, with 1 week's pay given the most common amount.
The average bump in pay when a second child arrives is $2 per hour. 

• Data includes nannies paid on and off the books. 
• Rates do NOT reflect Nanny Shares where a nanny takes care of kids from 2 families at the same time. 

NOT A MEMBER OF PARK SLOPE PARENTS? You're missing out!

If you're a parent in Brooklyn (almost half of all PSP members live outside Park Slope), Join Park Slope Parents today!

MORE: PSP RESOURCES TO HIRING A NANNY:

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