Fall and Halloween Events -- 2019 Edition

• 
• 

Details

Parent Category: Newsflashes

Category: Newsflash

It was a great Halloween! Next year Halloween is on a SATURDAY!  Fun to come!  Make sure to join Park Slope Parents to be up on all of the action!

Here are some PHOTOS of the Parade:

Susan Fox Photos 

Don Wiss Photos

Read more...

Doc Fox's Lessons for Better Communication

• 
• 

Details

Parent Category: Newsflashes

Category: Newsflash

Some of you might not know that Founder Susan Fox has her Ph. D. in Communication (from a gazillion years ago). She still teaches a graduate level Interpersonal Communication Course at NYU every so often and at the end of the semester I hand out a documnet called, "Doc Fox's Lessons for Better Communication."

When she mentions it to people they say they'd love to see it. So here it is; raw, un-prettied up, and for your knowledge. So come sit down and see what you might need from this and leave the rest. 

Favorite sayings:

"The only person who acts sensibly is my tailor. He takes my measure anew every time he sees me. Everyone else goes by their old measurements." George Bernard Shaw.

"You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do." Olin Miller

"Be Kind. You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through." Author Unknown

Doc Fox's Lessons for Better Communication

Perception, Emotions, and Listening 

• Remember that meaning is in the person, not the words. How you think something should be interpreted and how it is interpreted are two different things.

• People don't MAKE YOU feel anything. You are reacting to them, their words, and their behavior. Rather than "you make me feel X," use your "I" language and say, "I feel X when you…." Likewise, you don’t make other people feel anything. (Don’t mention this in the middle of a heated discussion.)

• Give people the benefit of the doubt and realize that you're likely to assume something bad happens to you because of external sources and something bad happens to others because of internal reasons.

• Don't 'half' or pseudo-listen. Folding clothes and talking is one thing; reading email and trying to talk isn't really the best use of anyone's time. If you aren't able to give a person your full attention, tell them "I can give you my undivided attention at another time (hopefully offering another time). Right now isn't a good time."

• Avoid using “should” have, “would” have, “ought” to, never and always.

• Practice listening. Get out of your head and do more than hear- embrace. It takes energy and time so listen when you can do it mindfully.

Communication Skills

• Communication is NOT a natural ability. You can always be a better communicator. 

• Ask, "What do you understand?" rather than "do you understand?" Likewise, ask "what about that makes sense?" rather than "does that make sense?"

• Paraphrase by saying "what I think I hear you saying is…."  and ask, "is there anything else?" when you are talking to someone, especially about a serious matter.

• Don't “ASSUME” (assuming makes an ASS out of U and Me) and can lead to misunderstandings.  Perception check, "you did/said X, which made me think Y, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't misreading what you did/said."

• Ask, "Is this a good time to talk?" when you start a conversation. 

• When turning down an invitation say, "but I'd love to be invited again so please ask" if, in fact, this is the case.

• If you're not willing to say it to someone's face, don't write it in an email. Especially don't write it in an email to someone ELSE.

• Take your time answering requests and making decisions (if you have time); you'll be glad to have the time to make an informed decision and give a thoughtful response. 

• Don’t use a personal conversation as a way to self-promote.

• If you are about to write/do something out of anger/frustration/fear; STOP. Write it, let it sit until you've had a good night's sleep. Send it to yourself as a nudgemail and give it some time to rest.

• Set limits if you have a deadline at the outset of a conversation or meeting. Say, "I need to be somewhere else at X so we need to wrap things up by Y."

• Apologize, expressing remorse, acknowledge of wrongdoing, accepting responsibility, and offering to repair. 

Read more...