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2019 Holiday Tips Survey: The Results are IN!

Details: Parent Category: Newsflashes; Category: Newsflash

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Here are the key findings from the annual Park Slope Parents Holiday Tips Survey in which Brooklyn residents report their upcoming end-of-year gifts to service providers, nannies, and teachers.

Gifts for K-12 teachers have risen. The amount people are giving to K-12 teachers is up from last year. The most frequently given amount to these teachers is $50 this year, up from $25 last year.
Tips to neighborhood service providers are down from prior years. Reported tips for supers, door security, occasional babysitters, and more are down from last year.
NYC urban living has its costs. Having a full-time nanny, dog walker, parking attendant and living in a doorman building with a super will cost you around $1800 in tips if you gift this year's average.
Folks are showing gratitude with more than just money. One in three (32%) are giving something more than cash (homemade cookies, treats, wine) to their service providers.
Almost all employers with nannies plan on giving a monetary bonus this year (97%). Three in four (77%) give a week’s pay as a bonus.
- Caveat: If your nanny hasn’t been working a year then you can give less, (e.g., ½ week’s pay if they’ve worked only 3 months) but do let the nanny know if you plan on giving more next year.
- ALSO: Don’t assume a week off without pay is something that your nanny will appreciate. Unless otherwise discussed when you hired your nanny, giving the nanny the week between Christmas and New Year without pay is frowned upon. Most would rather work for pay than miss out on money to support their family.
Daycare and preschool teachers feel the gratitude.Typical monetary gifts for both head and secondary teachers is $50. Unlike K-12, parents typically give separately with only two out of three (68%) giving an individual gift only.
Power in (organized) numbers. Eight in ten (80%) parents with kids in K-12 students contribute to a class gift.
Thank everyone. A kind gesture to the folks that support your life (e.g., crossing guards, lunch staff, accountants, after school staff, tutors, and therapists) is always appreciated!

DETAILED FINDINGS:

Personal Neighborhood Service Providers:

Home Related Providers	Average Tip/Gift	Mode	Difference from 2018
Superintendent	$102	$100	-$20
House Cleaner	$108	$100	-$1
Daytime Doorman	$77	$50	-$29
Dog Walker	$104	$100	+4
Occasional Babysitter	$72	$100	-$49
Nighttime Doorman	$66	$50	-$14
Porter	$55	$50	-$15
Hair Stylist	$53	$20	-$7
Parking Attendant	$48	$40	-$3
Package Delivery (non-USPS)	$28	$20	$0
USPS Mail Carrier	$24	$20	-$1
New York Sanitation Department Garbage/Truck Recycling	$24	$20	$0
TOTAL	761	--	-$135

Daycare, Preschool, and K-12 Teachers

Almost everyone (88%) contributes to a combined class gift to K-12 teachers. Some parents use websites and apps like Frumus, Venmo, Payit2 and Signup Genius to organize and pool donations.

Type of Teacher	Average Tip/Gift	Mode
Preschool/Daycare Head Teacher	$65	$50
Preschool/Daycare Secondary Teacher	$51	$50
K-12 Teacher*	$45	$50
Special Services Teacher	$33	$25
Afterschool Service Providers	$33	$20

Is it against the DOE policy to give teachers’ gifts? It is NOT the case that Department of Education K-12 teachers cannot receive gifts. Department of Education policy states: “Teachers may accept class gifts as long as parents are not asked to contribute more than a small amount of money towards the gift and all parents are given an opportunity to sign the card, whether or not they contribute to the gift.” However, be reasonable—extravagant gifts could get your teacher in hot water!

*Learn more about holiday gifts for teachers, including do’s and don’ts, in the Park Slope Parents’ article: How to Thank Teachers at the Holidays & End of the Year.

Nannies

ALL of the respondents (100%) are using the holidays as an opportunity to give a yearly bonus or gifts.
83% of employers give amounts incremental to a week’s pay. Of these, 77% give a week’s pay, 22% give two week’s pay, and 2% give three week’s pay.
The average end-of-year bonus a nanny will receive is $688.
Almost half (46%) of Brooklyn families with a nanny also give a non-monetary purchased gift as well as a bonus. More than 20% also give a homemade gift.

Nanny Situation	Average Amount 2019	Average Amount 2018	Average Amount 2017	Average Amount 2016	Average Amount 2015	Average Amount 2014
Full time (over 40 hours/week)	$1043	$1083	$1032	$969	$832	$1005
Part-time (16-40 hours)	$605	$530	$551	$540	$487	$597
Part-time (up to 15 hours)	$210	$198	$215	$284	$241	$167
OVERALL Average for Nanny	$688	$765	$762	$760	$724*	$623

Has your nanny worked for less than a year? If a nanny has worked for less than a year but more than three months, most employers give at least a half-week of pay. Make sure to inform your nanny that you intend to give a full-week’s pay next year, if things work out. Also, if you give bonuses on anniversaries rather than the end-of-year, remind them of that timeline.

Since newer nannies (those who have worked less than three months) may feel left out without a bonus, we suggest giving a bonus worth about 2-3 days pay. Again, make sure to give an explanation of your reasoning, and tell them what they can expect next year. Clarity about when your nanny can expect raises and bonuses is key.

As always, a heartfelt note with sincere gratitude (maybe a list of specific things you appreciate) always warms the heart and makes folks special and thanked. (Feel free to do that to EVERYONE in your life!)

METHODOLOGY:
Park Slope Parents collected 482 responses from December 1 - December 9th, 2109 via an online survey program (surveymonkey.com). The survey was distributed online through the Park Slope Parents website, their email groups and social media outlets, online blogs, and other online parenting/ neighborhood groups (Yahoo! Groups, FaceBook, Groups.io and more). The results are based on tips and gifts in Brooklyn only.

ABOUT PARK SLOPE PARENTS

Park Slope Parents (PSP) is a community in Brooklyn, NY of more than 7,000 local families who offer each other support and community throughout the parenting experience.
PSP online resources include a public website with member reviews and parenting advice, online forums including an Advice List (exchanging information about parenting and community issues), a Classifieds list (a local buy/sell/trade group for swapping kid gear and finding nannies), and a Career Networking Group which connects parents to jobs and professional resources. It also has over 100 subgroups including pregnancy and new parent, dads, working moms, bilingual, LGBTQ, industry-related career, cooking, gardening, allergy, vegetarian and more.
PSP offers offline, in-person events including parenting workshops, clothing swaps, community fundraisers, and networking events.
PSP also partners with nonprofits such as the Brooklyn Family Justice Center, Little Essentials, Sheltering Arms, and Lantern Community Services to provide donations to those in need.
PSP also sponsors community events such as the Celebrate Brooklyn Concerts, Prospect Park Alliance events, and more
Park Slope Parents is open to all parents in Brooklyn and requires an annual membership fee of $50 ($45 for renewals) to support ongoing services (like this Holiday Tips Survey). Membership includes discounts to more than 500 local products and services.
Parents in Brooklyn can apply for membership here: https://parkslopeparents.clubexpress.com/

2019 Holiday Guide to Tree Lightings, Caroling, Santa Photos and More!

Details: Parent Category: Newsflashes; Category: Newsflash

Here are all the great holiday happenings in Brooklyn and beyond this season. Also check out our article about Where to See Christmas Lights (including Dyker Heights). Holiday window displays run until the new year-- so if you haven't seen them, you still have time to enjoy! Have another holiday event to add? Email ."> .

We've also got a list of places where you can take photos with Santa!

Looking for ways to give this season? Check out the Park Slope Parents supported Holiday Drives (with a few others we found!)

Events December 9nd through December 15th

CAMBA Tree Lighting @ the Armory Shelter

Thursday, December12 @ 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM
CAMBA Women's Shelter, 1402 8th Avenue, South Slope
Sing songs, drink hot cocoa, eat cookies, watch the lighting of the armory decorations and enjoy the beauty of the armory.

2019.ArmoryTreeLighting

Santa at the Atlantic Terminal Mall|
Thursday, December 12th, 5pm - 7pm
139 Flatbush Avenue
Life-size snow globe photo op, live music, selfies with Santa, Winter Wonderland community art & much more!

Weekend of December 13th, 14th, and 15th

Brooklyn Borough Hall Tree Lighting

Wednesday, December 11th

5:30 pm - 6:30 pm

Holiday refreshments and musical entertainment at the annual tree lighting.

Borough Hall Plaza

Sing-A-Long Movie Spectacular @ PS 282

Wednesday, December 11th

5:30 pm - 8 pm

Proceeds go toward enrichment programs

180 6th Avenue

Photos with Santa Claus at the Old Stone House

Saturday, December 14th

10am – 12pm

The Old Stone House, 5th Ave between 3rd and 4th Streets

Join Park Slope Parents, the Old Stone House and the Park Slope 5th Avenue BID for our 4th annual photo session with Santa, in partnership with Park Slope Parents and the Park Slope Fifth Avenue BID. Photographer Marc Goldberg will make his professional photos available on his website for purchase, and you’re welcome to snap your own photo as well.

Santa in Center Slope

Saturday December 14th, 2019

2-4 pm

Catch Santa shopping from 9th Street to The Old Stone House. Come find him and get a candy cane and a photo!

Organized by the 5th Avenue BID.

Merry On Myrtle Winter Festival

Saturday, December 14th

12-3pm

While holiday shopping, enjoy live ice sculpting, music, crafts for kids, and more seasonal fun in the Myrtle Avenue Plaza. All activities are FREE.

From Classon Ave to Washington Park

Caroling with All Saints Church Park Slope

Saturday, December 14th

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear! Join us for an afternoon of caroling.

Meet and practice (and have a snack!) from 4:30-5 at All Saints Church undercroft (on 7th Ave near 7th St, at the sign for “Park Slope Center for Successful Aging.”) We’ll leave at 5 to carol in a few spots around the neighborhood, then return to the church around 5:45-6 to warm up with some hot chocolate.

Please let us know if you plan to attend by RSVPing to "> .

Jingle Bell Jamboree

Saturday, December 14th

7 pm

After a 4 year hiatus, the annual Park Slope family concert and sing-a-long is returning to Old First Church in Park Slope, Brooklyn.

Klezmer Hanukkah Party

Saturday, December 14th

3:30-5:30pm

BKCM Concert Hall (58 7th Ave at Lincoln Pl.)

Co-hosted by Brooklyn Conservatory of Music and Congregation Beth Elohim. Get into the Hanukkah spirit with our Community Klezmer Band featuring renowned Klezmer artists, as well as Klezmer song and dance leaders. Warm up with latkes, Hanukkah crafts, and more!

Tickets here: https://bkcm.org/event/klezmerhanukkah19/

Winterfest 2019

Saturday, December 14th

11am - 4pm

Brooklyn Friends School, 375 Pearl Street

Crafts and workshops suitable for all ages!

Holiday Market at P.S. 118

Saturday, December 14th

11am - 5pm

Inside P.S. 118 at 211 8th St. and 4th Ave.

Holiday shopping season is here--and we've got the perfect gift for everyone on your list! Join us at the second annual PS118 Holiday Market on Saturday, December 14, from 11 am to 5 pm, at PS118 (on 8th Street between 4th and 5th Avenues). During this fabulous, festive event, each floor of our school is transformed: The cafeteria becomes a delightful café and all the other floors are filled with children's activities, crafts, jewelry, and more (all for sale!) So much shopping! Proceeds benefit PS118.

2nd Annual Brower Park Library Winter Festival

Saturday, December 14th

11am - 4pm

Brower Park Library, 725 St. Marks Avenue

The event includes a special story time, an art workshop, and a special visit (and photo opportunity) with Santa. Hot cider and donuts will help us celebrate the holidays. Come kick off the winter season with us!

The Great Christmas Tree: A participation play for children.

11 am, Saturday, December 14th

12 pm, Sunday, December 15th

119 14th St, Brooklyn

Matt Heaton's Holiday Hootenanny

Sunday, December 15th

11am

Jalopy Theater, 315 Columbia

$10-15

Matt Heaton’s Holiday Hootenanny is a dance-filled, laugh-laced concert for the whole family. With his band the Outside Toys, Heaton performs hits from his shiny new album “Snow Day!” (Because nothing says holidays like fiddle drenched honky-tonk numbers, retro hi fi guitar stylings, and a rock solid rhythm section.)

Ways to Give 2019

Details: Parent Category: Newsflashes; Category: Newsflash

Giving is a great way to help those who need a hand up this holiday season. We have many ways to help, including gift drives, warm winter wear drives and more. For any of the great drives below, feel free to organize a toy drive with your office or your baby group! Have a holiday party potluck and have people bring gifts to donate.

Share these drives with work colleagues, block associations, or on social media. Every little bit helps!

The 2019 Little Essentials' Toy Drive

Suport Little Essentials Holiday Toy Drive and shop their Holiday Wish List on Amazon at from November 18th to December 2nd.

DETAILS: Select the gifts and send to the address near the top of the page: Little Essentials c/o Tribeca Pediatrics' Gift Registry Address

Little Essentials is a PSP favorite not-for-profit partner. They are a community response to a community need, helping families with children under 5 who live at or below the poverty line. PSP has worked with them for 7 years, ever since founder and Ft. Greene mom Sandie Trombert had her living room chock full of donated items from her baby group friends to distribute to people less fortunate.

Deadline: December 20th

2019 Sheltering Arms Winter Wonders Gift Drive

Use Sheltering Arms Gift Registry for gifts ideas that kids and teens would love to open this holiday season.

Working with Foster Care, and with feedback from our youth 13+ , we decided to provide older youth with gift cards. We kindly ask that families consider donating gift cards (which can be found on the Amazon wishlist) to help us ensure our youth can purchase what they need/want. We have approximately 90 youth who are 13 years old and over. Of course, there is a need for gifts for children of all ages so we would be grateful to receive any gift that your families choose to donate.

After making your gift, please fill out their online Donation Form - found at https://forms.gle/F5VxBdjZvCGZYVWB8 if you need a tax letter.

Select Sheltering Arms’ Gift Registry Address for the shipping address
Enter your name, your Organization’s name if applicable, your contact information and the name of the Wishlist you chose your gift(s) from
- E.g. 2019 Winter Wonders - Foster Care in the 'Gift Message' field.
- If you're donating several gifts from the same wishlist, you only have to enter this information once on the first item listed in checkout

Questions? Contact Diana Ortiz at or (212) 886-5771.

Deadline: Thursday, December 5th (EXTENDED)

Lantern Winter Gift Drive 2019

More than 23,000 children age out of the US foster care system every year.
After reaching the age of 18, 20% of the children who were in foster care will become instantly homeless.

Lantern Community Services champions the independence and well-being of New York City youth who are threatened with homelessness.

This holiday, many of our youth don’t have families to turn to at all.

With your help, we’ll make sure that every single one of them receives a gift.

Each gift on their Amazon Wishlist is only around $20.

Please consider donating to our Amazon Wishlist

Or, gifts may be mailed to:

Lantern Community Services Holiday Gift Drive

c/o Karisa Antonio

494 8th Avenue, 20th Floor

New York, NY 10001

Lantern is a 501(c)3 tax exempt nonprofit and we would love to give you a letter acknowledging your donation for your tax records. To receive a tax letter, go here and fill out their form.

Questions?

Donate to the 31st Annual New York Cares Coat Drive!

For the last 31 years, New York Cares has channeled the generosity of our city into our annual Coat Drive. Last year we distributed our two millionth coat, and this year our goal is to collect 100,000 new or gently used coats for New Yorkers in need in partnership with social service agencies, public schools, transitional housing shelters, and other nonprofit organizations.

You can donate new or gently used winter coats at a variety of locations citywide, including any NYPD precinct or our warehouse in Midtown (located at 157 W 31st St, New York, NY 10001). You can also start a collection, or help us purchase new coats at wholesale prices by texting “COAT” to 474747. Every $20 donated will keep a fellow New Yorker warm this winter. The Coat Drive is a proud tradition that shows what New York City is really about: giving back to the community by looking out for one another ❤️

Learn more about the Coat Drive on our website:https://www.newyorkcares.org/coat-drive.

If you have any questions please email us at or call us at (212) 402-1103.

PS 321 COAT DRIVE

December 2-6 coats will be collected in the school entrance (180 Seventh Avenue_.The coats will be distributed to families in need through St. Mary's Episcopal Church.

2019 Holiday Drive at Borough Hall

Shot's for Tots Toy Drive

November 29-December 22(Confirmed date)
Butter & Scotch
818 Franklin Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11225
O:347.350.8890
W: butterandscotch.com
A box will be located in the space to collect toys and a shot is offered for each patron that brings in a new toy."

SURVIVING THANKSGIVING

Details: Parent Category: Newsflashes; Category: Newsflash

How to survive the Thanksgiving Holidays

2019.Thanksgiving

There's a not so funny joke that goes like this:

"Why your family is so good at pushing your buttons?"

"Why?"

"Because they installed them!"

So as you go into the holidays next week (I’m giving you a week to prepare) try to remember that it took years to learn those now-instant knee-jerk reactions to the crazy things that your family does. I don't know about you, but it's hard not to turn into the 13 year old runt of the family when I'm around them.

Partners? You have the fun task of being between a rock and a hard place. You're "damned if you do and damned if you don’t." If you criticize your 'in-laws', you're screwed. If you don't criticize your in-laws (and god forbid talk about how their side of the story may make sense) you're also screwed.

So---Here are some tips that you and your partner can use to keep the peace during the Holidays, adapted from this Jezebel article "Social Minefield: How You (and Your Partner) Can Survive Thanksgiving with the Family."

Dating Apps (sigh): A Discussion From Our Single/Divorced/Separated Group

Details: Parent Category: Newsflashes; Category: Newsflash

So you’re looking to enter (or re-enter) the exciting world of dating! It can certainly be daunting, but just know— all of us at Park Slope Parents are rooting for you! Here is some handy advice for navigating those pesky dating apps.

Here’s the original question:

Hi Fellow SDS-ers,

I am ready to start dating again, and realize that I probably have to use the dreaded apps. I'm in my mid-30's and looking for both short-term fun and a long-term relationship, primarily with cis-men. What I *don't* have is much free time (I have sole custody of my 2-year-old and work full-time). Ideally I'd like to meet guys with kids who will be understanding of my time constraints.

What apps have you all found tolerable? Also, do you mention your children in your profile? I want to be honest about being a solo parent, but I have been warned that pedophiles will sometimes seek out single moms on these sites in order to gain access to their children (shudder). What are your safety tips?

Thanks for your input!

We’ve compiled and organized the answers below.

Advice from our members about dating in general: