Strengthening Relationships: Valentine's Day Ideas

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VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING

Parenting puts a lot of pressure on a relationship, even a good one. With this in mind, here’s a short list of things to do to strengthen relationships. Make these things priorities starting this Valentine's Day (if you haven't already)!

Date Night: If you can swing it, get out alone with your partner.  There are good reviews of Date Night Restaurants on the Park Slope Parents website.

Recharge: Send your partner out to get recharged, or recharge yourself. The Pampered Parent recommendations page has massage therapists and other services to help. These folks give PSP discounts on pampered parent services. It doesn’t have to cost a lot.  For dads, getting out and playing poker, going to Dad 411, or meeting up with other dads in your monthly or seasonal group are great ways to recharge. We also have an article on avoiding Parental Burnout .

Consider Therapy. This can be hard when you have limited time and young kids, but it can save a marriage. We have this list of Couple’s Therapists and Counseling. If you’ve got issues that start with you, or if your partner doesn’t want to attend, consider going to individual therapy. 

Read books about Relationship Resilience and do workbooks together. Parenting can stress relationships.  The big names in couple’s therapy right now are John Gottman (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work) and Sue Johnson (Hold Me Tight and Emotionally Focused Therapy) but don’t discount oldies but goodies like Harvell Hendrix (Getting the Love You Want, Imago Therapy) and simplified but useful constructs like Gary Chapman (The 5 Languages of Love are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch; quiz here.)  

Cuddle without expectation of sex. Be explicit that you just want to cuddle (and mean it). 

Have sex.  Schedule it if you need to. I’ve talked to many moms who feel like sex was a hassle, but they were always glad they did it afterward. If you’re co-sleeping, try a new place like a shower with the lights off. (We started a Sex after Kids Survey years ago; a Babeland/Park Slope Parents initiative that we never followed through with—maybe we need to dust that off!)

Practice Gratitude, especially with your partner. Have a Gratitude Jar (or text each other 3 things each day). Write 3 things that you are grateful for each day and re-visit them regularly. Especially tell each other what you appreciate about them.

Take charge when your partner needs a break. One friend said that the best thing her husband did was to put a beer in her coat pocket and tell her to go take a walk in the park when she was totally overwhelmed. 

Do more little things. Texts for no reason, flowers just because, notes on the bathroom mirror, phone calls.  Little things can do a lot to help a relationship. Put the dishes away, fold the laundry, offer to make dinner… do things that aren’t typically “your” tasks. 

Laugh more. Surround yourself with more comedy and less tragedy (including your steaming binges).  Share funny jokes and cartoons and reflect on funny times together. 

Practice Active Listening. Remember, it’s NOT about the nail.  This takes energy and time.

Watch things together. Co-viewing creates a shared history that helps couple's bond. 

This is a snapshot of some of the things that I discuss in my NYU Interpersonal Communication graduate class. 

So that’s some relationship help for ya. We also have this article: Wisdom/support for serious marital rough patch

Dr. Susan Fox

Ph. D. 1994, UCSB, currently NYU Adjunct

Founder, Park Slope Parents

Valentine's Day is coming! Here's how to pamper the parents in your life!

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Treat yourself or the Valentine in your life with these Park Slope Parents Membership Discounts!

Membership Discounts: Pampered Parent

2019 Martin Luther King Day of Service Events

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Parent Category: Newsflashes

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Events, education, movies and playlists related to Martin Luther King's Birthday, January 21st, 2019. 

Events

MLK Day By The Park Event
Monday, January 21st
11:00am - 2:00pm
Polo Cafe, 883 8th Avenue
The program is free and open to the public with an emphasis on children.  We are looking to highlight the human struggle and equality of ALL people as Dr. King spoke about. Guest speakers, books, and participants will create a big mural.

MLK Day at BCM - I Have a Dream Celebration
Monday, January 21st
10:00am - 5:00pm
Brooklyn Children’s Museum, 145 Brooklyn Ave (At St Marks Avenue), Brooklyn, NY
A celebration of the life and legacy of civil rights leader, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. A full schedule of activities will soon be released on the Facebook event page.

Repair the World - Family Meal Packaging for Brooklyn Community
Monday, January 21st
10:00am - 11:30am
Repair the World NYC, 808 Nostrand Ave, Brooklyn, NY
Kids and parents from all over New York will come together to prepare and package about 3,750 meals per shift to be delivered throughout the Brooklyn community. See website for other MLK volunteer opportunities.

MLK Day of Service at Park Slope Jewish Center
Sunday, January 20th
10:30am - 2:00pm
Park Slope Jewish Center, 1320 8th Ave, Brooklyn, NY (corner 14th St.)
Projects and activities for ALL ages: cooking, soup-kit and PB&J assembly lines, book drive, clothing drive, advocacy, arts/crafts, knitting, etc., to benefit Brooklyn Legal Aid, the Brooklyn Family Justice Center, CHIPS, God's Love We Deliver, HIAS, and more. Stories and songs for preschoolers starting 10:30am.

BAM 33rd Annual Brooklyn Tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Monday, January 21st
10:30am - 1:30 pm
Artists, activists, civic leaders, and community members come together in the BAM Howard Gilman Opera House to honor the legacy and share the dream of Dr. King. This event is free and sign-language-interpreted.
Peter Jay Sharp Building, 30 Lafayette Avenue, Brooklyn, NY

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Storytelling and Music Event
Mon Jan 21, 2019
11:00am to 3:00pm
Grace Reformed Church, 1800 Bedford Avenue (corner of Bedford and Lincoln Rd.)
Free
This volunteer-run event includes a reading of Show Way by award-winning Brooklyn author Jacqueline Woodson about Underground Railroad, as well as music performances, and activities and crafts for children, and a complimentary lunch at noon. Greenlight Bookstore is a partner on this event.

 Little Essentials MLK Family Volunteering Day
Monday, January 21st
10:00am - 12:00pm or 2:00pm - 4:00pm
Basement of Tribeca Pediatrics, 15 Warren St, New York, NY
Parents can volunteer at the Tribeca warehouse with their children (over 10 years old) or help sort and organize donations to go to needy families.
Due to limited space, 2 time slots are offered and each accommodates 10 people total. 
Please use the link to fill out the volunteer form and your participation will be confirmed via email. 
For questions, email Zakiyyah at   or call 646-850-3611.

Freedom Songs & Stories
Monday, January 21st
12:00pm - 4:00pm
Lefferts Historic House in Prospect Park, 101 East Dr, Brooklyn, NY
Masterful storyteller, Tammy Hall, will be telling diverse tales from around the world creating a rich, Martin Luther King Jr. Day experience for all.
(Free, but space is limited. The link to register can be found on the website)
 

Kid friendly movies:

• Our Friend, Martin (can be found on youtube)
• Ruby Bridges
• The Watsons go to Birmingham
• The Color of Friendship
• And the Children Shall Lead (Ages 9+)
• Hidden Figures (Ages 10+)
• Remember the Titans
• Selma
• Hairspray
• 42 (Biopic about Jackie Robinson)
   

 Educational Videos on YouTube:

The Life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. - MLK Day! (Animated)
History of the Civil Rights Movement
The Story of Martin Luther King Jr. by Kid President
Civil Rights and the 1950s: Crash Course US History #39

As our own Nancy McDermott says in her PSP blog post The Arch of the Moral Universe: MLK Day:

Let us remember and believe that "The arch of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward Justice". . Let us remind ourselves and tell our children how much has changed --still changing since the days when Martin Luther King's speeches sent chills down the spine of a nation. Most of all, let us take heart in the fact that great and just ideas endure in history and that we can make them a reality. Martin Luther King understood this better than anyone.