The Proud Tree - Giving with Boundaries

• 
• 

Details

Parent Category: Newsflashes

Category: Newsflash

There is a debate about the story "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein. Should people be self-less and give and give or have boundaries?  Katie Deutsch has written this response to Shel's book from the perspective that perhaps it's okay to set boundaries and not give until you have nothing left.

---------------------

The Proud Tree - Giving with Boundaries

Written by Katie Deutsch, A response to Shel Silverstein

There once was a Tree and she loved a Boy.
The Boy gathered her leaves, made crowns to wear, and play king of the forest.
He climbed her branches, ate her apples, and the Tree was happy.

But the Boy grew older and visited less often.
One day the Boy came back and the Tree said, ‘Come boy, climb up my branches.’
The Boy wasn't having it, ‘I don’t want to climb your branches, I need money, I want to sell your apples at the market.’
The Tree thought about this for a moment. “Boy, I love to make you happy, and my apples are delicious. Take this harvest and in the spring I’ll grow more."
The Boy gathered all the apples from the Tree, and made a pretty penny at the market.

Years passed, and the Boy came back to the Tree, and the Tree was happy to see her friend. “Boy, come taste my delicious apples!”
But the Boy was somber, “I don’t want your apples, I need a house for a family.”
“I don’t have anything to help with that,” sighed the tree.
The Boy blinked a few times and gulped. “You could give me your branches, that way I could build a house.”
The Tree was shocked. These branches grew her delicious apples, were the home of countless birds and squirrels. Strong and plentiful for all children to climb.
“No. You are being selfish, and I don’t like the assumption that you own my branches to do whatever you wish.”
The Boy shrugged and walked away sheepishly.

Many years later, the Boy came back.
“What is wrong Boy, you look so sad! Come sit and talk to me, share your problems.”
The Boy started to cry, “I am so sick of the world. It is so hard and it always challenges me. I wish I had a boat, so I could sail away and find peace. Give me your trunk so I can find an escape.”
Once again, the Tree was surprised and sharply spoke to the Boy, “The world will always challenge you, it doesn’t stop. And running away won’t solve your problems, only create new ones. And besides, your family needs your love and support.”
The Boy grew angry, threw up his hands, stomped away from the tree and disappeared.

More years passed, and the Boy came to visit once more, but this time he was an old man. The Tree welcomed him with open branches, calling out, “Hello old friend, it has been a long time.”
The Boy looked up at the beautiful apples, the majesty of her branches, marveled at her strong trunk and weeped, “Thank you for your strength, and thank you for your wisdom. I wanted everyone to bend to my will, but life doesn’t work that way.”
The Tree beamed with gratitude, “Yes, Boy, true friendship and love are built on boundaries. I’m glad you found peace. Come, sit down and rest."

Copyright 2019 by Katie Deutsch

Posted with permission by Katie Deutsch

How To Handle an Open House With Your Kid!

• 
• 

Details

Parent Category: Newsflashes

Category: Newsflash

Sponsored by:

True story. A client told us that her 6-year-old son once put his dirty shoes all over a white couch at an open house. She was convinced that she lost the bid on the house because of her son’s behavior. We don’t think that’s why she lost the bid. But, there are some surefire ways to make house-hunting with your kids a better experience for everyone! Here are our favorite tips:

1. Don’t bring the kids. Just kidding. Sort of. If there is any way you can call in a childcare favor when you’re looking at real estate, do it. Remember, this is an investment of YOUR time into what is potentially YOUR largest investment. Try to spring for a babysitter!

2. Kids are people too. Introduce yourself AND your children to the agent when you sign in, if you are not with your own agent. If they’re old enough, have your children introduce themselves.

3. Please carry your little ones. If you have toddlers, try to keep them in arms. Injuries at an open house are bad news for everyone. This is not the place to empower your child or be charmed by their cuteness. Please leave strollers outside and folded if possible. The broker and the sellers worked very hard to make the place look good.

4. Give kids a job. Engage them in the process. They may not want to at first, but pretty soon they’ll get into it. You can create a checklist of items your family is looking for: Window in the bathroom? Good spot to put the kitty litter? Outlets for computers? Please only allow pencils for any written work and supervise children all times. Little ones should never be more than a few feet away from you at an open house. Remember, this is a quick visit! You can always come back for a longer private viewing if you like the property.

5. Find a comfy spot and ask the broker if your child can sit with a book or some other form of entertainment. (If it’s digital, make sure there are headphones.) If you’ve brought snacks or a drink – or if there are snacks on-site – please don’t wander through the property eating or let your children do this. Try to do all your consuming in one spot. Preferably the kitchen! 

Alexandra Saghir and Tyson Lewis are community-based real estate agents (and Park Slope Parents!) who tirelessly educate, empower, and advocate for their buyers, sellers, renters, and landlords. Their 15 years of house-hunting experience and knowledge will help you and your family win your dream home.