Things can get a little lax when dad's on duty.

As a freelancer for the past 14 years, I’ve had a lot of flexibility in my daily schedule. Always a nice convenience, this became especially significant three years ago, when the kids were four and almost two. Looking ahead to that fall, with Bobby in full-day pre-K and Lulu about to start five mornings a week, we realized it no longer made sense to keep a nanny for the few hours of daily coverage we’d need. With Amy working full-time at a real job, we did the math and decided it made the most sense for me to step up to the plate; I could work all morning, pick Lulu up at noon, give her some lunch, get her down for a nap, and get a little more work in before taking her to pick up Bobby. Any hit to my productivity would be more than offset by the money we’d save on childcare.

And that’s pretty much how it worked out. For three years, I’ve handled the lion’s share of afternoons, weekday doctor’s appointments, random school holidays (Brooklyn-Queens Day?), and other occasions when duty calls during business hours. Amy has been fortunate enough in her family-friendly employers to be able to take an afternoon or two many weeks; on the other hand, her job has also taken her out of town over many weekends for days at a stretch. Add it all together, and I’ve probably spent as many hours on solo childcare as I have on billable projects.

Now it has come to an end, as all good things must. Amy has hung out her own freelance shingle and my services as flex dad are no longer required. The pendulum has swung to the other side as she makes up for lost time by claiming every possible drop-off, pick-up, appointment, birthday, and idle moment. Finding myself with unaccustomed time on my hands, I’ve had the opportunity to reflect on a few of the things I learned during my tenure. And here they are.  Read the rest of this entry »