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New Parent Health Advice
| Mommy Brain and Short Term Memory Loss |
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Having trouble focusing since having a baby? Read here for members thoughts on the subject Question : My son is 18 months old and I have found that since giving birth my short term memory has changed, a nd I have a hard time remembering and focusing at my job. I have even started thinking that maybe I have ADD. I am worried, and was wondering if others are experiencing anything similar to this and can it be treated? With my son I am very focused, but at work I have a hard time to focus and remember details. Answers: Are you sitting down? I have good news and bad news... First the bad news: I fear this may just be motherhood. I too experienced what you've described. I spent entire days tearing the house apart looking for infant hats - infant hats that l'd later find in front of me on the table where I'd gone to weep, my head in my hands. I was worried it was early onset Alzheimer disease. I slunk out one day and bought a book about memory to try do a self assessment - you know, before I broke the news to my friends and family. Here's the deal. It's only if you start forgetting the things that make you, yourself, i.e. like the names of your parents that sort of thing, that you need to go see someone. What you are experiencing, like what I experienced, probably has to do with two things 1) a sudden doubling of the people you need to organize and 2) the stress you experience in the course of everyday life as a mom is probably interfering with the way that you commit things to memory. If you're distracted when you are trying to remember something (you know, by work or your child) you may not remember it as well. I found it helps to try to be conscious about the fact that you are committing something to memory. And then, of course it helps to write things down. If it's any comfort many of my friends experienced the same thing -even the really, really efficient ones. I also found that simple things like a regular routines for basic stuff - like laying out clothes for myself and the kids at night and planning meals and writing down a menu - anything that was taking up mind space I didn't have and could be put on auto pilot with the help of a routine made a huge difference. The good news is that focus and control comes with time. It took me about two years or so to feel more like myself - but it's a constant battle. Mind you, I was a little unfocused before the kids so maybe you'll fare better. Good Luck, don't worry and go have a massage now and then. _____________________ I agree whole heartedly. It's four years since the birth of my last child and I am on occasion revisited by a loss of memory. When this starts happening I pull back, relax and start living consciously(slow down). __________________________________ I think memory/focus issues are very common: "mommy brain" In my opinion, it is combination of some of the following: - lack of sleep - suddenly having to track a whole new list of things (last food, last milk, last diaper change, last haircut, how much milk is in the fridge, whether hair was washed last night, when to go to the pediatrician next, etc.). - watching your child while you try to do something else (so that you don't get deep into a task very often) - stress I actually have more trouble with it at home than work - I am constantly thinking of things that I have to tell my husband about, and then I either don't tell him, or I tell him several times - I have no idea whether we had the conversation or not. For work, think about what is getting in the way - is it that the tasks don't seem very important? Are you thinking about things at home? Is the job very stressful so that a small lapse in memory is noticeable? Does your job require you to shift tasks a lot instead of taking 1 task to its conclusion? Are you getting enough sleep? There are different strategies to use depending on what the lack of focus looks like and what the contributing factors might be. Making lists can help, re-organizing your work in various ways to reduce the amount of memory you have to rely upon, trying not to contact home too often so that your focus can remain at work, and of course, more sleep will always help. A funny note - My MIL took care of 3 of her grandkids for 10 days last month, and she kept forgetting things. She was worried it might be Alzheimers. I told her it was just "mommy brain", and it would get better as soon as she was back in her own house and had a good night's sleep. Sure enough, it did. _________________________________ As the mother of 14 yr olds, it does get better, but it is also great to carry around one of those little digital voice recorders. The best mother's day present ever. __________________________________ t depends on how severe of a memory issue you're talking about. it's perfectly natural and healthy to have your mind occupied with "primary maternal preoccupation." even subconsciously you may be preoccupied with your child, especially since s/he is still so young. this is a good thing! if it's to the point where you can't function well enough to carry on then that's a whole other issue. there's also sleep deprivation that can throw you off and are you eating well?, do you stretch your body out every once in a while to make sure the blood is flowing? etc. it's very easy to space out when your tired, not getting enough nourishment and your energy is stagnant. i know it's hard to find time to take care of yourself as a mother, but try it. maybe you already are, but i think most mothers put their own health on hold. ________________________________________ I agree with everyone else that a shift in focus is common, and I can add that I would have not survived motherhood without post it notes. Lately I transitioned to LARGE, long, handwritten lists of things to do, very detailed, and even lists of lists, with attachments, arrows, asterisks all over. BUT I think that if you feel this is causing you any kind of discomfort, it is healthy to seek help, even just to be reassured that you do not have ADD (and I do not think you have it!) I would start with a little general assessment: do you sleep enough? eat well? do you have at least 30 or 45 minutes a day just for yourself, where you can relax, gather your thoughts (I use this time to write the above mentioned lists). You can also just try to see what is it that makes things difficult, do you need a buffer time to transition from home to work and/or viceversa? More coffee? Less coffee? :-) At times a massage can help, or just a manicure, or a good book, a movie, a date, a haircut, to help you shift the focus from EVERYTHING to just YOU, and relax. Whatever you do, from taking a yoga class or seeing a doctor, is a good thing you can do for yourself, and you should do whatever makes you feel better. When I look back, I see I often overeacted in my various phases of my life with my son, but AT THAT MOMENT, things were overwhelming and I needed to do what I did, they were all necessary steps to make it to ...TODAY. So even if I agree with the other PSPs who have suggested "take it easy, we are all on the same boat", I think you should also get the help you feel you need to feel better, worry less and enjoy life more.
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